Thank You Fans

July Newsletter

 I want to thank all 3355 fans that came out on Thursday July 3rd making it the biggest night in Grizzlies history.  You all helped break the franchise record for attendance that was set on May 30, 2003. 

 It was a special night and the Grizzlies topped it off with a 9-5 win over our rival, the Forest City Owls.  There were other records set on July 3rd and I think it is only fitting to details those: 

1) 41 Dunks: During Dunk the GM inning I was dunked 41 times, breaking the previous record of 39 set on Friday June 13th.  (For the record I had water stuck in my ear for the next 3 days)

2) 76 Donut Burgers Sold, beating the previous record of 68 on Thursday June 26th when Phil Gardner wrote an article about it in the Gaston Gazette.  (Note: Bryant Lopez ate 3 including 1 during the 3rd inning.)

3) 3 Heart Attacks caused by Donut Burgers beating the previous record set on opening night of 2 (Remember our slogan fans: It’s Hot Stoppingly Delicious)

4) 9 Wahoo’s:  Brian Rushing (PA Announcer) set the record for most Wahoo’s during a Grizzlies game (A new ritual he does after every Grizzlies run)

5) Chizzle continued his Mascot race losing streak…now at 13

6) 2: The Number of ladies excited by Chris Kupillas’ on field dance, beating his previous record of 1, set on June 16th, coincidently the same night his girlfriend was in town.

7) 2,624: Number of Ooh’s and Aah’s from the fans as the Fireworks went off, beating the previous record set by Chizzle during his first photo shoot with his shirt off on June 2nd (Though the rumor was the oohs and aahs may be been confused with boo’s)

8) 1234, autographs signed by Grizzlies players.

 Home Sweet Home        

The Grizzlies have won 8 out of the last 9 home games.  I think the reason for the winning streak is simple…Opponents awe and admiration of our field, scoreboard, players, players’ girlfriends, players’ dancing skills, me, on field promotions, Chizzle’s strength, our donut burgers, the non-stop music in our beer garden, our crazy PA Announcer, me, the overwhelming feelings of desire to play for the Grizzlies, Fear of Ian Waldron who most people believe could go off at any moment, and last but not least the desire to be like Eli Benefield. 

As a general manager I take the pride in how the team performs on the field.  As the season has gone on I have realized that team cannot win on the road.  I spent many long nights thinking about why the team could not win on the road. On July 2nd at 4 A.M. as I lay on the pitchers mound it hit me…the sprinkler system was set for 4:01.  As I ran from the field soaking wet and screaming I had an epiphany: the team must miss me and my fearless leadership on the road and that is why we cannot win a game.   

So as I now stood on the roof dripping wet I vowed from henceforth homesickness and dare I say, Jesse sickness would not be responsible for another loss on the road.  I quickly ran home grabbed my back pack, toothbrush, shower radio, drain-o, passport, George foreman grille, gameboy, my lucky pencil, Dr Seuss “All the places you will go” and 3 Where’s Waldo books.  I was ready to go, however as I arrived at the bus I realized I was still in my wet clothes and failed to grab any dry clothes or my wallet, my cell phone or my 3 ring binder.  I was in trouble but I knew my presence would lift the team to stardom.  

Unfortunately the team failed to perform once again and I was thrown out of Wilson and Fayetteville by security for taunting and berating my own players.  I managed to find trees to climb and watch the games and I realized that they were trying to impress me so much that they actually performed worse. 

I thought it over and I decided that I still should travel with the team but without their knowledge of my doing so.  I will be the Grizzlies greatest fan just in disguise… 

Now I’m off to prepare some disguises for our next road trip.  Let me just say this, our road woe’s are over! Fear the Griz!